Time for a confession; I’ve had fear of failure for most of my life.
The biggest challenge in my past was undoubtedly Art School.
I loved being creative but then there is also the judging of your work…
I was so concerned with the reactions of my teachers that instead of following my own creativity and use their comments as guidelines, I tried to create something that met with their approval loosing my own ideas in the process. Which (ask any art school student) is a sure fire way to NOT get any.
Finally the fear of failure made me frieze up and literally nothing would come out of my hands. In the end I dropped out of art school and fled to the safety of the university.
But I did want to protect that creative part of myself by giving myself an outlet, a place where I could just focus on beauty and creativity, where I would be inspired. A place to document my own creative journey. This became my blog.
When I became pregnant for the second time last year, I felt so drained of everything that being creative was almost impossible. I just got it together long enough to do something with the nursery and than basically just took a really long nap.
Blogging was hard and it became harder and harder. This past year I’ve tried to breathe and reboot so many times. But I couldn’t keep it up.
Blogging became something I forced myself to do.
Obviously this didn’t work. How can you give anything when you feel like you have nothing to give?
I started to compare myself to others and felt inadequate.
Blogging became tied in with my fear of failure.
I felt I had let myself down in the worst way.
Maybe I had even been wrong about myself all along.
Maybe I wasn’t creative at all. Maybe I was just all talk and no game.
Blogging became just a confirmation of my own failure.
And being a mom for the second time, working and managing our lives were all great excuses of why I simply didn’t have the time to blog.
I even stopped reading other blogs.
Recently I started to think about what to do with this blog. Do I want to quit? Try again? What?
Then I got the flu (usually not a good thing) en forced to stay in bed I visited Dos Family (one of my favourites) and suddenly it clicked.
I looked at all their crazy/lovely/beautiful/insane posts and I realized what Jenny and Isabelle were doing. They aren’t trying to become something else or show something that wasn’t there.
Jenny and Isabelle share their lives tidy or not, styled or not, trendy or not. They embrace who they are and share every quirky bit of it.
So why was I so concerned with failing? If I want to blog, I can!
There are no rules; there are no requirements only the ones I created in my head. Rules that I made by comparing myself to others.
But I’m not a professional blogger, I blog because I want to.
I blog, because I like to experiment and create.
And I can do it any way I want.
So I am done making up rules for myself, compare myself or censure myself.
Time for a fresh start and show a little more of me.
Just like with overdue christmas trees I was thought that you could also keep wishing people a happy new year until the sixth of january (Three Kings).
So here it goes….
Because 2013 was so sucky, I hope 2014 will be lucky!
I wish you all a whole lot of luck this year in every endeavour!
Some years are a little better then others. 2013 turned out to be not so good. Actually it kind of really really sucked, like a lot. 2013 was our ‘between a rock and a hard place’-year. Both me and the Boyfriend were dealt some though times. We handled them as best we could and I’m happy to say; we are still standing.
Of course 2013 wasn’t all bad, our baby girl was born and she is such a cheerful sweet baby and she is doing so well. Mini turned 4 and is thriving in primary school.
Still, I think that 2013 is sooooo 2013 and I can’t wait to start 2014!
I was always told that you could keep your christmas tree and decorations until the sixth of january (Three Kings or the Epiphany). So I think it’s okay to blog about our christmas-interior after christmas as well.
This year we kept it simple and mostly mint-coloured (except for our pink christmas tree). I think the thing I like most about christmas is the complete overkill of sparkle! And you don’t even have to apologize for it. Also I love to watch my favourite christmas movies The Night Before Christmas and Elf, although I think I may have watched Elf a little too many times. I can’t get it out of my head!
I hope you all had a lovely christmas too!
I often feel like sushi but even more often I really really don’t have the time to go through the hassle of making it, like on a tuesday evening when you just got home from work. Lazy Sushi is the answer!
white or brown rice 200 gr.
pealed edamame 200 gr.
2 spring onions
1 teaspoon ginger syrup
2 tablespoons brown rice vinegar
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon wasabi paste
1 tablespoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons black sesame seeds
– Cook the rice as usual.
– Blanch edamame (peal them first if you got the pods).
– Chop the cucumber and avocado in tiny pieces.
– Chop spring onions in fine rings.
– Mix the ginger syrup, ricevinagar, soy sauce, sesame oil and wasabi together.
– Taste and add a little more wasabi if you like.
– Pour this marinade over the veggies and mix.
– Once the rice is done, mix the rice together with the veggies.
– Cut the nori into tiny pieces (use scissors it’s a lot quicker!)
– Mix the nori in with the rice and veggies.
– Before serving, you sprinkle everything with black sesame seeds.
And as a bonus feel free to add some raw salmon into the mix or on the side with some soy sauce and wasabi.
This is where I found the recipe: oatmealista
Sinterklaas is over. That means we can get our christmas on. I started things of with making my own little winter snow globe or jar to be specific!
To make a snow jar, get:
– An empty jar (if you don’t have one feel free to just eat your way to an empty jar).
– A figurine (or more) that will keep in the water. I used Schleich animals, I know they will keep cause Mini plays with them during bath time.
– Some extra props if you like, I used a tree.
– Glitter! don’t use a very fine type of glitter but go a little more chunky for a better effect.
– Water resistant glue
– Optional: Spray paint, I used it to get a little extra colour and create a bit of an ombre effect.
– Clean out your jar real good and remove the label and glue.
– If you want to use spray paint, now is the time to do it! Spray your lid and glass separately.
– Glue your figurine and extra props on to the inside of the lid.
– I also put a little glue on the horsey and rubbed some glitter in it for a permanent ‘snowy’ effect.
– Wait for the glue to dry (and be patient!)
– Boil some water and let it cool. I’ve read that boiled water will keep a little better.
– Poor the water into your jar all the way to the rim.
– Then put the lid on it, let the extra water overflow.
– Remove the lid again and dry it off.
-Put the glue on the inside of your lid and close the jar for real.
– Wait for the glue to dry properly before turning it over!
– You’re done.
Here are a few extra tips that I had to learn the hard way:
– Make sure to first ‘test’ whether your figurine will fit in de jar by placing it on the lid obviously it can’t be any bigger.
– A tree like the one I used is great but make sure it is colourfast. I used a green tree (like the one you see on the right) and first gave it a good wash to drain it of all colour, you can also bleach it a little. don’t use agressive stuff because it will destroy the entire tree.
– I also made a version with a squirrel in the hexagon shaped jar, I thought it would be a nice effect. Don’t bother it’s not! the water already provides a little distortion.
Love wool but can’t knit?
Like making your own things but also kind of lazy?
This is the scarf for you!
Based on my own experience as a lazy knitter with a thing for pretty wool, I thought of a little trick around the whole ‘knitting problem’.
Here’s how you do it.
2 balls of wool, a pretty chunky wool will do best.
2 spools of thread: 1 in the same colour as your wool and 1 in any colour you fancy.
– Cut strands of wool to the length you want.
– Place all you strands together horizontally as they will be once the scarf is finished.
– Put the your spool of thread(the same coloured one) onto your sewing machine and start sewing the wool together.
– To get the wool through the machine use your hands to keep the wool strands together and guide them through.
– Go back and forth a couple of times.
– Then move up a bit and repeat this throughout the length of your wool. I did this at intervals of about 10-15 centimeter (but whatever tickels your fancy).
– Don’t worry if it’s a little wonky it’s just to keep the wool together.
– Repeat this throughout the length of your wool.
– Now get out your fancy spool of thread and repeat the whole thing but this time try to create some nice lines and patterns while sewing.
– And presto! You’re done.
I actually made a tube scarf, so you have to sew the ends together (first the same colour thread and then the fancy thread). But it’s fine to leave it as is too.